Diary of a Mistress by Mistress Cocoa

Diary of a Mistress

Part 1 ~Introduction~

Where do I start? I guess that can only be answered by beginning at the beginning. I am a single, black, professional woman. I have a very successful career at the age of 36, but my ambition to succeed has taken its toll on my social life. A strong, black intelligent woman, competing in the male dominated world of chemical engineering has to remain focused. I do hope to one day settle down and raise a family soon, but through my adventures I've also come to know the type of man I must have in my life. The details of my stories are based on fact, on the realities of the things I've done and the men that long to please me. Each is written from my perspective as I think back on the activities we've enjoyed together and the journeys we've taken. Of course to protect our identities, I would never name names or places. But for those of you that already know who I am, you will also surely know whom I'm referring to in each of the short missives I hope to publish.

I was dead tired when I got home last night... almost midnight and the dark house looked so uninviting. However, I was comforted by the thoughts of a nice chilled glass of wine on my mind and knew that soon all the stress from the day and week would be forgotten. I left my briefcase in the car, taking it into the house would only temp me to turn on the computer, and nine times out of ten, work would beckon me instead of play. My first stop was the bathroom. I turned on the hot water in the tub; a shower would cheat myself out of hour of relaxation. I pour the scented bath beads into the tub and sit for a moment watching as they slowly dissolve, therapeutic I think for as each sand like grain disappears, I imagined that they are my worries disappearing as well. It takes forever to fill the whirlpool tub, but I know the wait would be well worth the rewards of the powerful jets. On to the kitchen, where I removed the bottle of Chardonnay from the refrigerator... uncorking it, I d! idn't even bother to save it, I left the open bottle on the counter, took out a single wineglass and return to the bedroom to undress.

I loaded the CD changer with Stratos, Najee, Keith Jarrett, Stanley Clarke and John Martyn... I am going to really enjoy this. I light the fragrant candles around the bath, turn on the music and turn off the lights. Everything is just about ready to escape the realities of life... I pull my hair back into a loose ball and pin it into place. Just one last preparation before I slip into the tub. I return to the kitchen and pour myself a glass of wine; the first sip is wonderful. Returning to the bathroom, the wineglass in one hand, and the bottle in the other. Stepping slowly into the tub of hot water, I feel my body immediately began to relax and my thoughts drift to the world of fantasy. A world where I would not have had to make such preparations for myself, but rather I would have you at my beck and call.

You should know me well enough by now to realize that fantasy isn't my kink, letters full of missives of what could be instead of what isn't, just isn't my style. But with such a busy schedule lately, I thought it would be fun to let you into the mind of the Mistress of Dark Desires, there really is more to me than hard work and dedication to my job. I take another sip of the wine, still cold, such a contrast to the warmth of the bath, and feel the chilled sweet liquor slide down my throat, it's comfort immediate and I close my eyes, listening to the strong, classical notes of Stratos. I dare not sleep, but adventure to fantasize... The sight of you naked, smiling, trembling slightly as you dare to touch me without permission welcomes me. I return your smile, a knowing wink that tells you to proceed, but realize that punishment is forthcoming. I lean back into the air pillow, totally relaxed now and enjoy the soft massage of your fingers kneading my shoulders... my neck, down ! my back... never sexual, you know better than that, but extremely pleasurable.

The bath is long, delightful; the water grows chilly. The bottle of wine now half empty and you know that you will soon be the subject of the release of much of my frustration. With nothing more than a wave of my hand, you know to leave me, to take your position at the side of my bed. Wait for me there dear one, I shall take great joy in your gift of submission this evening.

I quickly step from the bath, drying myself, toweling dry the wet ends of my hair, running the blow dryer so that it will not tangle, I slip on my leopard print silk chemise and join you in the bedroom. I smile as I find you, legs spread wide, ass high in the air, feet firmly on the soft carpet as you lie face down into the pillows bent at the waist. You haven't forgotten our ritual of inspection. I run my fingers up and down the crack of your ass, spreading your cheeks wide, making sure that you are clean and prepared for the play you know I most enjoy. I cup your balls, they are full of a treasure I will take my time releasing, and your cock, thick, hard, the head wet as you have prepared nicely for my enjoyment.

"Did you enjoy masturbating as you listened to me in the bath?" I whisper softly in your ear.

Your reply so soft, I can barely hear you as you admit to touching yourself...

"Are you ashamed that you are required to make your cock hard for me?"

Laughing, I slap you on the ass... "Good boy," I chuckle. "Real good boy."

You briefly sigh a moan of relief; I am pleased so far. I again run my finger up and down the crack of your ass, feeling your body begin to sweat, I tease you as I grasp your balls, they are so warm, so full, and the source of so much pleasure for me. I pull them away from your body; your sigh turns to a groan as you feel the sharp jolt run through your body, I attach the leather harness, the one with the straps and hooks for the weights...

"Are you ready dear boy? Does your cock betray you? Does it continue to remain hard, slowly dripping clear precum as your torture begins?"

To two of the hooks I attached the lead weights, slowly allowing you to adjust to the pressure. From the hook in the center, I run a length of soft rope, pulling it tightly, I kneel between your legs, my face in your ass, what are you thinking now dear boy? I attached the ends of the rope to your ankles, pulling the rope until your whimper softly changes to a sensual begging of me not to pull so tightly. I smile, knowing that you want more, need more, your protests are in vain, and you enjoy this as much as I do... don't you?

Wrapping the rope around each of your ankles, I run my nails across the tightly stretched skin covering your balls, so tightly bound now, you will not move an inch as I begin to have my fun. As I stand, I run my tongue across your tender puckered asshole, so tight right how, but we both know you will be unbelievably stretched before the night is done.

Shall I continue dear boy? Do you want to know more? Please write and let me know what you think and encourage me to continue with the revelations of my personal journal. You can contact me at Dark_Desires@hotmail.com. I get my motivation from you and my encouragement from the few personal friends that I've shared my writings within the past. Trust me when I say this is just the beginning, my journal is not entitled Dark Desires for nothing. The experiences delve deeper and deeper into the world of BDSM as I become more comfortable with a willing submissive and he communicates his desires to take journeys past his current imagination.

Part 2 ~Fire & Ice~

Your entire body shivers, is it excitement or pain. How much longer can you take the tugging at your balls, have they long since gone numb. Have you forgotten about the rope attached to your ankles. Have you become so comfortable that you think you are free to move? Do you feel the weights attached to them or has the time come to add more?

Have you been lured into a false sense of comfort, do you think that you are taking and not giving? What are you thinking dear boy? What thoughts run through your mind as you lean over my bed, so excited by my tongue in your ass that your palms no longer flat against the comforter. The covers no longer smooth as you begin to grip them in between clinched fingers as you push your hips higher and higher into the air, wanting more and more of my tongue. Do you really think this is about your pleasure, I laugh at your false sense of security.

My pleasure is just beginning, do you smell my sex yet, and does your mouth water to taste me. Do your nostrils flare as you seek out my scent? I pour myself another glass of wine, sitting in a chair behind you, just enjoying the sight, your balls have swollen quite nicely, I light a cigarette, long deep pulls and blow the smoke gently between the cheeks of your ass...can you feel it? I reach into the ice bucket, tall of the ice has nearly melted now. The cubes the size of small stones, I clutch a handful and toss then onto your back. Smoking my cigarette and enjoying the glass of wine, I watch as the ice melts. The cool water runs down your sides, between the cheeks of your ass, across your swollen balls and slowly drip from the head of your cock. Are you still hard, or has the pace been so incredibly slow that you have cheated and masturbated yourself to orgasm?

You will only cheat yourself if you climax now, the fun is in the denial of orgasm. The journey is one of mental and physical submission. An experience that is to be enjoyed, it's more about the journey and less about the ending. Can you remember the warmth of my mouth on your cock...smiling, I stub out the cigarette.

Standing, I pick up the leather crop, rubbing it across your cheeks.

"Are you ready dear boy? Is there more you wish to give, need to give?"

I ask these questions of you and think to myself if I have even begun to scratch the surface of your desires.

The leather connects with your skin with a sound "smack," I watch as you jerk upwards. A scream cuts through the silence as you feel the pull in your balls from the rope tied to your ankles. I see you have forgotten, your hands clinch into fists as you grip the covers tightly, your voice quiets to moans just above a whisper. The choice is yours, will you stay and submit, or are you ready to run away, frightened by your own desires? Harder, swifter, the leather strikes alternately between your cheeks, your cock gives you away dear boy, you are again hard, does it ache, do you need release? Not yet, I'm just now beginning to enjoy myself. I slap your ass with the leather crop until your cheeks turn bright pink, shall we try for red...the game has just begun.

I massage your tender cheeks, kissing them, soothing them with oil, comforting you and I prepare to change implements. The crop has left your ass cheeks nicely striped, the welts beginning to rise. I choose the latex whip, our newest little toy and began to strike you across your strong shoulders. Slowly working my way down your back. Careful to avoid your tender cheeks, I skip them and work the back of your thighs. Your balls so have swollen now that they prevent you from closing your legs. I strike them tenderly, cautiously, but never the less ignite a fire of desire deep within your being. The whipping is not over yet, as I work my way down your calves, to your ankles and finally the soles of your feet. Your entire body is on fire. It's time for more ice. This time I push the small cubes of ice into your rectum, filling you with a chill, such a contrast to the warmth in your cheeks, more spanking this time with the leather strap.

"Fire, ice, fire, ice," you are mumbling to yourself, recalling the game we have played many times, wondering just how long you will have to endure it this time.

My brow drips with sweat, my nipples ache, my pussy quivers, dripping wet as I desire you more at this very moment than ever before. Alternately I smack your ass, rubbing it, massaging it, and spreading your cheeks apart, watching as the cool water drips from your opening like cum dripping from a pussy. Your cock now bounces, your balls swell to even greater proportions, how much more can you endure dear boy, how long can I play with my toy?

Your asshole, dripping wet, I push a small butt plug deep inside of you. I listen as you moan, groan, growl, the shock as I watch your back arch, do you realize how much you excite me, how much you please me...this is just the beginning dear boy, just the tip of the iceberg....

"Is the pace too slow, did you expect something different? Is my style too much for you, too little?"

I smile, quietly laughing to myself, do you realize just how much I enjoy the control, the exchange of power. Your gift of submission, my honor of Domination a new concept that you must understand. It is not like what you read in the books, it is not full of the whips, chains, corsets, latex, leather, corsets like the pictures you look at and masturbate from. No, it is not fantasizing dear boy, it is real life, reality, not the stuff fantasies are made of, but rather what happens when dreams come true.

It is sexual by nature, but not about sex. It is not about romance, you and I both get that at home... it is more about respect. It's not about how big your cock is, or how good you think you can fuck...no dear boy, it's about releasing total control and instead of taking, it is about giving. I am beginning to really enjoy you. Close your eyes dear boy. Can you feel your balls begin to throb, the tingle of what might as well be a thousand tiny needles pricking them? Oh yes dear boy, this is my kink, my pleasure, my joy...it is your mind I seek to reach, your cock is easy...I run my fingers softly across the head of your cock, it jerks in response...are you surprise that your body responds to me?

I rub the tip of my finger around the soft slippery shape of your mushroom head, do you know how beautiful a cock you have? Do you know how much I enjoy just touching it, looking at it...smiling, I wrap my fingers around your shaft, slowly begging to masturbate your cock, up and down, soft gentle strokes, the tip leaks, the mixture of pain and pleasure, your balls tight, throbbing beginning to swell.

I stop to get the digital camera, to show you later, so that you may share the things that I see, the joy and pain that shows in your face. The pleasure in the way your body responds, not to have to perform, but simply to give of yourself entirely so that I may take that which gives me the most pleasure. I kneel between your legs, your face still buried in the pillows. My tongue tracing a path down your back, between the cheeks of your ass, across your tender balls, pausing I take each one into my mouth, rolling my tongue across the skin, gently sucking, and nibbling. Slowly I began increasing the pressure until your pants of pleasure slowly turn to moans of pain...do you dare ask me to stop, do you dare deny me such pleasure.

I lick my way down your cock, the skin soft, the core hard, your taste clean but definitely that of a man. Taking the head of your cock into my mouth, I moan at the first real taste of you, my nipples harden, my pussy begins to get wet...I'm having so much fun dear boy, my new toy is so much fun. I take your cock deeper and deeper into my mouth, the head pushing into my throat, so full of your taste, the feel of you in my mouth, sucking, slurping, nibbling, licking, my tongue gently rolling around the head. Your sweet precum dripping onto my tongue, you want to cum don't you dear boy.

You need to cum, you think that it will ease the throbbing in your balls. But you know better, you know it is not about your pleasure, but mine. It's the gift you give me, allowing me to suck on your hard cock for as long as I enjoy it. Never do I have to worry about you climaxing, loosing interest rolling over and snoring. How nicely the tables have turned since you've allowed me to take control. How long can you stand the pressure building in your balls? A necessary part of your training that we have to keep them so tightly bound, the pain will teach you to control your orgasms. But I'm sure by now, months since we first began playing these games, that you have come to enjoy the pressure, the pain is sheer pleasure for you isn't it dear boy.

Just as I begin to feel your cock jerk and trembling in my mouth, I move away. Not just yet dear boy, to let you cum now is much too easy. Not just yet, I have so much more I wish to explore. Moving to rub my naked breast across your cock and swollen balls, across your stomach and then your chest.

I lean over and whisper in your ear "Why does it feel so good, when it hurts so bad?"

I watch as the sweat drips from your brow, your lips quivering as if you want to ask me to stop and a small tear runs from the corner of your eye.

"You do wish to continue, don't you dear boy?"

Mistress Cocoa
Dark_Desires@hotmail.com

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