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Our
PERSONAL
Guarantee To You:
"If you don't like it, well dammit, that's just too bad, kid"
Feedback and Complaints From Our Visitors:
Dear
Management,
I am writing in response to a message I received the 14th of
April, 2001. For starters, I never joined your damn mailing list. I am sick
and tired of you people hounding me for money or questionnaires about sick
sexual fetishes that I may indulge in. I've already told you at least a dozen
times that I think your organization is run by a pack of satanic monkeys, and I
want absolutely no part of it. In fact, I have gone as far as to do drive-by
potato hurling at your residence as a severe warning sign to leave me alone and
stay the hell out of my personal affairs.
__________________________________________________________________________________________
Dear Deformed Squirrel:
I know the Deformed Skwerl Nut firsthand, and I can assure you that he is not a wise oracle of information waiting to spew out knowledgeable predictions. As a matter of fact, I don't even think he speaks what could be regarded as a language. He usually just points and makes a lot of grunting noises indicating which dry blanket he wants to hump.
__________________________________________________________________________________________
Dear Deformed Stupidity:
In a series
of related incidences, the Deformed Skwerl Nut was repeatedly beat in the head
with a broomstick while he was on one of his many euphoric crack highs. I find
your exploitation of this disturbed young man’s vision of humor to be very
offensive. I've already contacted the Humane Society and they told me they
would look into the matter.
___________________________________________________________________________________________
OUR DEVELOPEMENT TEAM AND SKWERL STAFF
Our Management Team
Our Web Design Team
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