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Well, today I went to my first strip bar. Honestly, I think part of the reason I was kind of obsessed with them before was the cult value. It was just so obscure in the context of the rest of my life, it held a huge fascination for me.
But, fuck, it was just a fabulous experience.
First of all, the atmosphere wasn't anything like I had expected it to be. I'm sure it depends on where you are, but at this particular place, it was just really laid back. Come to think of it, I guess its just me whose always nervous in sex shops and stuff, most of them I've been to have been pretty laid back. I guess I was expecting some kind of air of guilt or something eminating from the place.
There was this one stripper who physically reminded me of Brie from high school who seemed to completely cross the line into interpretave dance. She was wearing a man's shirt and a G-string, which was pretty different from what everyone else was wearing. She went into this trance-like state when she danced, and it was this amazing fluid incredibly... well, I would say sensual over sexual... thing. She seemed to care less about the audience than anyone else. Like, she knew she was good and they would just come to her. The first dance she did was to some fairly hard 80s-ish song, which was a change from the R&B crap the other girls had used. She seemed to have a hardcore following, which she was aware of, and was like, fuck everyone else. The second song was "Lightning Crashes" by Live, which seems an unlikely choice. (As if I didn't already have enough damn associations with that song...) But she did this really cool dance that sort of mimicked birth in a way, or a spiritual emergence, and it was so amazing. She didn't get a single tip. Wow. (I was still to scared at this point to tip) But if you think about it, sex underlies damn near everything we do, indirectly at least, why not sexualize it?
Sure, there were girls who just kind of gyrated and played with themselves, but some of them were really expressive. Of what, damned if I know the first thing about any of them to be able to tell. I think about watching plays that I've done on videotape, and am always so shocked to discover the things that I communicate through my body language; things I've unconsiously expressed about my character, and things I've inadvertantly revealed about myself in the way I respond to my character.
I also got a lap dance. WOW. (cold shower cold shower cold shower) I was stammering so much at the end, i couldn't even talk right.

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