Well, today I went to my first strip bar.
Honestly, I think part of the reason I was
kind of obsessed with them before was the
cult value. It was just so obscure in the
context of the rest of my life, it held a
huge fascination for me.
But, fuck, it was just a fabulous experience.
First of all, the atmosphere wasn't anything
like I had expected it to be. I'm sure it
depends on where you are, but at this
particular place, it was just really laid
back. Come to think of it, I guess its just
me whose always nervous in sex shops and stuff,
most of them I've been to have been pretty
laid back. I guess I was expecting some kind
of air of guilt or something eminating from
There was this one stripper who physically
reminded me of Brie from high school who
seemed to completely cross the line into
interpretave dance. She was wearing a man's
shirt and a G-string, which was pretty different
from what everyone else was wearing. She
went into this trance-like state when she
danced, and it was this amazing fluid incredibly...
well, I would say sensual over sexual... thing.
She seemed to care less about the audience
than anyone else. Like, she knew she was good
and they would just come to her. The first dance
she did was to some fairly hard 80s-ish song,
which was a change from the R&B crap the
other girls had used. She seemed to have
a hardcore following, which she was aware of,
and was like, fuck everyone else. The second
song was "Lightning Crashes" by Live, which
seems an unlikely choice. (As if I didn't already
have enough damn associations with that song...)
But she did this really cool dance that sort
of mimicked birth in a way, or a spiritual emergence,
and it was so amazing. She didn't get a single
tip. Wow. (I was still to scared at this
point to tip) But if you think about it,
sex underlies damn near everything we do,
indirectly at least, why not sexualize
Sure, there were girls who just kind of gyrated
and played with themselves, but some of them
were really expressive. Of what, damned if
I know the first thing about any of them to
be able to tell. I think about watching plays
that I've done on videotape, and am always so
shocked to discover the things that I communicate
through my body language; things I've
unconsiously expressed about my character, and
things I've inadvertantly revealed about myself
in the way I respond to my character.
I also got a lap dance. WOW.
(cold shower cold shower cold shower)
I was stammering so much at the end, i couldn't
even talk right.
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