I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!) An \nawesome stranger named John David who follows\nTori around the country gave me a ticket\nso i got in for free!!! YAY!!! Wow!!!\nBarbara and me rolled down the hill. \n\nBut for some reason everything made me feel\nlike i was about to cry. Part of it was\nseeing Tori, but i'm still shaking inside\nand don't know why.\n..........................................\n..........................................\nI have this stupid tendency to act\nlike a ditz when i'm around people. (friends\nof mine have told me that when they first \ngot to know me they were surprised that i was\nsmart...) I just get so excited around people\n, I can barely function.\n................ There was a little 5 year\nold girl who danced with me and Barbara=)=)\nOH I LOVE CHILDREN SO MUCH!!!! I can't wait\nto have them!!! sometimes i talk to my eggs\nbecause they will someday be my little kids.\nI know i'd be a better mother later than now,\nbut I wish I could take them out and play\nwith them for a little while, and then put \nthem back until i'm like 30. It would be so great;\nwe'd have a lot of fun. .................\n.................\nSometimes i'm worried that i wouldn't be\na good mother though. I'm not a horribly \ndisciplined person myself, and it would be\ncompletely hypocritical to try to instill that\nin another person. Also, one of my deepest\nfears (one that annoys everyone close to\nme on a daily basis) is the fear that people\ndon't really like me, that they're only \npretending to like me and really have some\nulterior motive and laugh at how ridiculous\ni am behind my back. I can't even begin to\nimagine what would happen to me when my \nchildren inevilably rejected me and rebelled\nwhen they became teenagers.\n\n\n\n%%-->
motherhood
Sunday, August something
Dear Diary,
Today I went to the Tori/Alanis show with
Robin!!! It
was bittersweet. I saw a lot of people who
made me feel really special (aka Barbara,
Emily, Dori, Marie, Cara, other Cara, Kim,
K.C. and Sita --> I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!) An
awesome stranger named John David who follows
Tori around the country gave me a ticket
so i got in for free!!! YAY!!! Wow!!!
Barbara and me rolled down the hill.
But for some reason everything made me feel
like i was about to cry. Part of it was
seeing Tori, but i'm still shaking inside
and don't know why.
..........................................
..........................................
I have this stupid tendency to act
like a ditz when i'm around people. (friends
of mine have told me that when they first
got to know me they were surprised that i was
smart...) I just get so excited around people
, I can barely function.
................ There was a little 5 year
old girl who danced with me and Barbara=)=)
OH I LOVE CHILDREN SO MUCH!!!! I can't wait
to have them!!! sometimes i talk to my eggs
because they will someday be my little kids.
I know i'd be a better mother later than now,
but I wish I could take them out and play
with them for a little while, and then put
them back until i'm like 30. It would be so great;
we'd have a lot of fun. .................
.................
Sometimes i'm worried that i wouldn't be
a good mother though. I'm not a horribly
disciplined person myself, and it would be
completely hypocritical to try to instill that
in another person. Also, one of my deepest
fears (one that annoys everyone close to
me on a daily basis) is the fear that people
don't really like me, that they're only
pretending to like me and really have some
ulterior motive and laugh at how ridiculous
i am behind my back. I can't even begin to
imagine what would happen to me when my
children inevilably rejected me and rebelled
when they became teenagers.
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